What am I doing it for?

When you do headstands do you use the wall for support or not? I try not to use the wall. Why?! This was a very good question. I understand that you will still make great gains with your alignment, develop your upper body strength, and do good things for your cadiovascular system etc. by using the wall to support your balance. Asking the question "why?" led me to think about how the body can naturally move and how the body can be trained to move. Babies have a tremendous flexibility which we in our lives either try to maintain or gain back through yoga or other exercise practice. Babies do not run around doing headstands (although children do run out and do cartwheels!). While we are capable of training to do this, it is not natural repertory for the body. Then why do it? Why do I still seek the challenge? I guess I amaze myself when I overcome a challenge and learn to do something that is "extraordinary." It keeps me feeling young and gives me the courage to sit at my desk at work another day. But, I should never pursue ways of moving, levels of flexibility, or new positions in yoga with a spirit of competition (or at least not too much!). Yoga is meant to develop our bodies and minds and improve our ability to relax and do things one step at a time. This means letting them happen... rather than making them happen. I think I'll keep trying to do the headstand without the wall to feel like I can "climb Mt. Everest" when I learn to do it consistently, but I need to rethink my journey but "unthinking" in my daily practice and just allow it to happen. I've run into problems of feeling "stressed out" before trying a headstand. I've noticed that the times I just go and do it are the times I am most successful. I make poor progress when I feel any anxiety by trying too much to do it...